Monday, October 24, 2011

Questions Answered: Part Two


We received a couple of interesting questions, some of them did not mention a great detail, and some were just plainly too general, but we answered them in the only way we know how, the best 'unbiased and just' answer that we could give.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: "hey i was wondering if u could help 

see im torn apart and dont know what to do ... lets just say there was a situation , and someone ruined it on purpose out of jelousy , horrible person indeed i know , but i didnt say anythin cuz lets face it , theres no point in facing them because they feel no guilt no remose anyway...

my point is... i already lost one, if i confront the other, i lose a friend... what do i do? wheres the freakin right thing to do here? if i stay quiet it consumes me from the inside and if i talk i lose a friend...

hope u can help "

A: The situation seems bad indeed. Look, you've done well by choosing not to speak to that person. Because by avoiding it, not only have you proven you are a good friend, but also a good human being. You see if you choose to harm yourself instead of a person (that has wronged you badly), can you really NOT call it the right thing? It doesn't seem fair, but it is by far a great decision on your part and I applaud you for that. But what I don't recommend is to let it consume you from the inside. What I would recommend is confronting the person who ruined it, and ask for a reason as to why they did what they did, they owe you atleast that much and you deserve to know the real motive behind their actions. Explain that you only want an honest answer and that you aren't looking to blame them. Because they're afraid of losing you as much as you are afraid to lose them.

Q: "hey... i need ur help 

theres this girl i love adn shes with a guy but i love her soooo mcuh and i wonder if its selfish of me to tell her how i feel bout her... what do u think"

A: Before we go any further, just think of how much you actually love her. If you love her for who she is, or for what she does (there's a clear difference there). Basically, what I would recommend is to wait, it's not fair for her to know that you love her if she's happy with who she's with, and to answer your question, yes it is VERY selfish of you to tell her at the moment. If she's happy right now, isn't that supposed to make you happy anyways? Regardless of who she's with?

Q: "Dealing with death Question:

What about those who never experience it before?
And those who fear it?
Especially for our dear loved ones?"

A: Death is not something to be feared. On the contrary and this is what I tried to portray in the post, everything is beautiful because it has an ending. What's left after someone dies are just the memories they have created with their loved ones. So in the end it really depends on what kinda impact you have on others. Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile to be honest. I believe that the challenge of facing the death of a loved one is indeed a very tough challenge, think of it this way (wither you believe in God or not), at worst their at peace, at nothing, away from all the bad things in this life, and at best, their at Heaven and what better fate/place is there than that? Just keep in mind that no one is truly gone forever, and that they live on through the lessons and impacts (be it good or bad) they had on others lives. Be happy for them, honor them by remembering who they were and what they stood for.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also, please note that we will answer all questions. It's just going to take a little more time so please hang in there!

Until next time,
Regards.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Dealing with Death



It is never easy to lose a loved one. This is what people fail to understand, they wear masks and say that they can handle it, but in truth all they're doing is cover the pain inside, they block the emotions and replace them with false ones. Sometimes, the death of someone can create a hole inside of you that just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

"To Each, his Own" - There's no better way to explain this than with this small quote. You see, some people say that death just doesn't affect them anymore, well the truth is, they're lying. It does affect them, but they just learned how to deal with it. You see, there's a brighter side of death, it's only difficult to see but once you lose the bitter emotions you either become stronger by the experience and grow as a whole person, or it destroys you completely.

Some people never take it well and they immediatley begin to have ideas that somehow they could have prevented it from happening, which is false again. Look, it doesn't seem fair, but nobody EVER said it is. Everything happens for a reason, the sooner you start to get the bigger picture -of death- the better.

You might be wondering now, "what is the bigger picture/bright side of death", well you see, everything is beautiful because it has an ending, and you can't really call it an end, as long as you hold onto their memories tight, and never forget the lessons they taught, they're never really gone in the sense. They live on, through you. You become responsible to represent what they 'were' so you either take what you learned from them, or forget them. So you see it is a choice that you make that marks their end.

Finally, I really advice anyone who knows someone who lost a loved one to tell them that its not their fault and that they could not prevent it anyways. It's really important for them to HEAR it, even if you think that they don't blame themselves. Make sure they hear it, not know it, think it or anything else, but hear it.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Questions Answered: Part One

Hello everyone.

First of all, I would like to thank everyone who sent us an email encouraging us to keep going with this (I assure you, we will) and the messages really helped (and appreciated!). Also, to those who sent us questions, rest assured we are going to answer ALL your questions, it's just going to take a little time. 

The Questions Answered is where we select some of the questions randomly and answer them (note that we answer almost all questions but just select to make a few public), if you want to ask us a question, feel free to use the Contact Us page, and mention if you would like to make your question public.


------------------------------------------------------------

Q: "hey, i read the nothing written in stone post and my problem is that i always feel sad an depressed .. do u think its a excuse that i make not to feel happy ? becuz that did make alot of sense .. and haf the times i dont think i realy deserve to be happy"

A: The problem isn't that you think you don't deserve to be happy. The problem lays elsewhere. It's a totally different issue and trust me you're not alone in this. Many people wish to just be happy, joyful cheerful, feel fantastic and never let something bother them, but they forget that it doesn't work that way. You gotta understand that life is just a circle. You can't have the good, without the bad and it's pretty unfair for you to want that. To just be happy and never worry about anything else. This feeling WILL pass. Just give it time, today you're sad, tomorrow you'll be happy and vice versa. You can't have just the good things. Laugh, cry, have fun, get hurt, live your life and never regret anything and most importantly, LEARN from your mistakes and never be afraid to make them. 

Q: "What bothers me is why do ppl pretend to be something there not"

A: These people are often suffering so much in their life that they have no confidence whatsoever in who they are as a person. Thus they tend to create alternative personalites in their minds to fit themselves into what people expect/want them to be. Often they continue acting in their alternative personalities for so long it becomes unbearable for them and so they choose to end the friendship/relationship rather than their 'alias'. So to answer this question, low self-steem, and they aren't really confident about themselves and they think that people would neglect/hate them if they showed who they really are.

Q: "i wanna know how cruel a person can be and is it really a real thing that some people dont have any feeling like sorry for someone or something?"

A: People can be very cruel, and yes, some people after so long of doing it, can learn to turn off their feelings toward something or a situation, the root of this problem however is interesting, as most of them have been subject to the SAME hell they cause to others. Say if someone doesn't really feel sorry if they wronged someone, that means that this person has been wronged so many times it destroyed them and caused them to 'feel' nothing when they do it themselves. My advice would be to avoid mixing with that crowd (eventually, and slowly, they do start feeling everything, one tiny bit at a time).

------------------------------------------------------------

In the end, I would like to thank everyone who has been supporting us, thanks for the emails, and keep the questions coming.

Until next time,
All the best.