Friday, December 23, 2011

Ignorants, Liars and Pretenders

Can you imagine what the world would be without these sort of people? I decided to talk about this issue -inspired by a question sent- because it really bothers me how annoying this is and how widespread it is. It's surprising how can someone be really ignorant, and think to be the exact opposite? How do you tell who is and isn't one? So many questions really strikes the mind when thinking about this topic. Hopefully, by the end of this post you'll have a pretty good idea of how to tell the difference. 

Ignorant people first of all, do not fully understand logic. They do not understand the root of the problem to think of a solution for it. Think of it this way, if you jump to an issue you have no idea about right at the middle and try to make a judgement there and then, you'll fail miserably, the reason is, you don't know the whole story, so the best thing, and the first thing you should ask for, is the true unbiased story. Because only AFTER you understand the ROOT problem that you can tell. That's the problem nowadays, too many people are blinded by pride to admit their wrong. Like it is something to be ashamed of. Everyone makes mistakes! A fact unknown to these people. 

One of the main problems with ignorants are that they really are not looking for the truth, see you can't really convince someone who does not wish to know the truth (even if it contridicts his views) the greatest signs of ignorance is talking before listening. Sounds easy enough but it really makes all the difference. They talk before you finish talking, inturupting you, that's the biggest sign that they are NOT looking for the truth, and thats really the part that I don't understand, they SAY their looking at both sides of the story but what their actually DOING is, looking for evidence to support their theory. Then back up their views with lies and and twisted truth all because they are too damn proud to admit that there is a SLIGHT possibility that their wrong. Not only do they deny it. 

(The illusion of knowlege... greatest obstacle in the way to find the truth)

Liars also have lots in common with ignorants, while they are afraid of admitting their wrong, they generally suffer from a really REALLY low self-esteem, they have no confidence whatsoever in who they are as a person. They create characters and 'play' them according to whom they are talking to. They always feel inferior to you (thats another story, for another time) and to impress you, they come up with sily idiotic lies that they end up believing themselves. From what I've seen of them, they really had a terrible past or had a specific event or problem that triggered this sort of behaviour, and the one thing that is almost found in everyone nowadays (although these, more than others) is that they feel unappreciated. It is almost sad to feel that. They eventually grow out of this buble, though it takes time, but it will happen, they change into better people with time, just how much time really depends on the influence of people in their lives.

(If they're not good at keeping small secrets, they're not good at keeping big ones either)

Lastly, I wanted to talk about pretenders (hypocrits) in the end because they combine aspects from both types above, a pretender is much worst, and combines some of the worst attributes of both ignorants and liars. They're a mix of of them of some sort. But where they defer is, that they have a sickness in their heart, often viewing themselves as victims, they have a tendancy to pretend that the entire world is not good enough for them, they feel they can accomplish so much more but are stripped of the chance to do so, they feel as someone is TAKING their chance, instead of trying to do something about it, they start spreading lies, to belittle whoever 'stands in their way'. Also, almost the only difference between a pretender and an ignorant is the fact that when ignorants talk, you see their views, you see why their arguing you, they atleast have the decency to 'try' to point out some flaws (wither they're flaws or not, is debatable) but pretenders, they cover up their real views, they agree with you on the spot yet behind your back point out the 'flaws' in a way where you can't even defend or further explain anything. The fact is, they are really a dangerous type to know, because they of their two-faced nature, it's really hard to withstand their insults and dualed attitude, and because of their "friend infront of you, backstabbers behind your back" nature, what I reccomend is, to just leave them alone. Don't try to help them, they do not wish it, and it'll end up costing you dearly. The easiest way to spot these people is just this, they are fond of themselves, and often praise themselves and talk about how 'wonderful' they are. The great things they have done, how they helped this person and have done this and that. 

In the end, I'll leave you this time with this, and I really implore you all to follow this simple and very easy thing to get used to. It can really change your life: "If you can't say it to their face, don't say it at all".

Until next time,


Also, I'd like to add that, I received all your questions, and promise to answer them, just please bare with me, as it's just going to take a little more time.


Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Everything Happens For a Reason

Seems so strange that people really cannot understand the aspect of "You first gotta lose, to learn how to win" see, you can't be a winner from the first time up, you have to build your success, it just doesn't come over night. I was asked recently, "if you had a time machine and went back in time, would you change anything at all?" to their surprise, I replied "No". Understand that you are who you are today because of those mistakes, so to avoid making them, would that not take away the lesson you were taught and wouldn't that mean you're slowly undoing yourself on your own? The point is, you can't be truly happy if you live with regrets!  

Many questions come to mind with this issue, often, those who 'hate' their lives have filled themselves with hatred or regret (perhaps even both) so much that they miss the point of it all, how else would you know that those were mistakes? STOP living in the past! Stop letting the PAST define your PRESENT and therefore affecting your FUTURE. You either learn and embrace your past, or see yourself be destroyed by it. 

People often tend to cover up their pasts, like if hiding it is hiding the shame behind it, you shouldn't be ashamed of it (never mistake covering and hiding your past with keeping a secret). You have to ask yourself this: "Am I happy with who I am TODAY?" - see you can't be happy with who you are if you still want to change something.

Instead of spending hours, days, weeks and sometimes even months wondering what could have happened differently, concentrate on making it better! That's what I don't get, you screw up, fix it! Make it better! Why dwell on it and keep asking what if? It's not gonna make things better anyways so just take action, decide to improve it! So just drop the victim act and give it your best! 

In the end, I will leave you with this: even when your best is sometimes not good enough, remember, that's not a reason to give anything less.

Until next time,

Monday, October 24, 2011

Questions Answered: Part Two

We received a couple of interesting questions, some of them did not mention a great detail, and some were just plainly too general, but we answered them in the only way we know how, the best 'unbiased and just' answer that we could give.


Q: "hey i was wondering if u could help 

see im torn apart and dont know what to do ... lets just say there was a situation , and someone ruined it on purpose out of jelousy , horrible person indeed i know , but i didnt say anythin cuz lets face it , theres no point in facing them because they feel no guilt no remose anyway...

my point is... i already lost one, if i confront the other, i lose a friend... what do i do? wheres the freakin right thing to do here? if i stay quiet it consumes me from the inside and if i talk i lose a friend...

hope u can help "

A: The situation seems bad indeed. Look, you've done well by choosing not to speak to that person. Because by avoiding it, not only have you proven you are a good friend, but also a good human being. You see if you choose to harm yourself instead of a person (that has wronged you badly), can you really NOT call it the right thing? It doesn't seem fair, but it is by far a great decision on your part and I applaud you for that. But what I don't recommend is to let it consume you from the inside. What I would recommend is confronting the person who ruined it, and ask for a reason as to why they did what they did, they owe you atleast that much and you deserve to know the real motive behind their actions. Explain that you only want an honest answer and that you aren't looking to blame them. Because they're afraid of losing you as much as you are afraid to lose them.

Q: "hey... i need ur help 

theres this girl i love adn shes with a guy but i love her soooo mcuh and i wonder if its selfish of me to tell her how i feel bout her... what do u think"

A: Before we go any further, just think of how much you actually love her. If you love her for who she is, or for what she does (there's a clear difference there). Basically, what I would recommend is to wait, it's not fair for her to know that you love her if she's happy with who she's with, and to answer your question, yes it is VERY selfish of you to tell her at the moment. If she's happy right now, isn't that supposed to make you happy anyways? Regardless of who she's with?

Q: "Dealing with death Question:

What about those who never experience it before?
And those who fear it?
Especially for our dear loved ones?"

A: Death is not something to be feared. On the contrary and this is what I tried to portray in the post, everything is beautiful because it has an ending. What's left after someone dies are just the memories they have created with their loved ones. So in the end it really depends on what kinda impact you have on others. Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile to be honest. I believe that the challenge of facing the death of a loved one is indeed a very tough challenge, think of it this way (wither you believe in God or not), at worst their at peace, at nothing, away from all the bad things in this life, and at best, their at Heaven and what better fate/place is there than that? Just keep in mind that no one is truly gone forever, and that they live on through the lessons and impacts (be it good or bad) they had on others lives. Be happy for them, honor them by remembering who they were and what they stood for.

Also, please note that we will answer all questions. It's just going to take a little more time so please hang in there!

Until next time,

Friday, October 14, 2011

Dealing with Death

It is never easy to lose a loved one. This is what people fail to understand, they wear masks and say that they can handle it, but in truth all they're doing is cover the pain inside, they block the emotions and replace them with false ones. Sometimes, the death of someone can create a hole inside of you that just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

"To Each, his Own" - There's no better way to explain this than with this small quote. You see, some people say that death just doesn't affect them anymore, well the truth is, they're lying. It does affect them, but they just learned how to deal with it. You see, there's a brighter side of death, it's only difficult to see but once you lose the bitter emotions you either become stronger by the experience and grow as a whole person, or it destroys you completely.

Some people never take it well and they immediatley begin to have ideas that somehow they could have prevented it from happening, which is false again. Look, it doesn't seem fair, but nobody EVER said it is. Everything happens for a reason, the sooner you start to get the bigger picture -of death- the better.

You might be wondering now, "what is the bigger picture/bright side of death", well you see, everything is beautiful because it has an ending, and you can't really call it an end, as long as you hold onto their memories tight, and never forget the lessons they taught, they're never really gone in the sense. They live on, through you. You become responsible to represent what they 'were' so you either take what you learned from them, or forget them. So you see it is a choice that you make that marks their end.

Finally, I really advice anyone who knows someone who lost a loved one to tell them that its not their fault and that they could not prevent it anyways. It's really important for them to HEAR it, even if you think that they don't blame themselves. Make sure they hear it, not know it, think it or anything else, but hear it.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Questions Answered: Part One

Hello everyone.

First of all, I would like to thank everyone who sent us an email encouraging us to keep going with this (I assure you, we will) and the messages really helped (and appreciated!). Also, to those who sent us questions, rest assured we are going to answer ALL your questions, it's just going to take a little time. 

The Questions Answered is where we select some of the questions randomly and answer them (note that we answer almost all questions but just select to make a few public), if you want to ask us a question, feel free to use the Contact Us page, and mention if you would like to make your question public.


Q: "hey, i read the nothing written in stone post and my problem is that i always feel sad an depressed .. do u think its a excuse that i make not to feel happy ? becuz that did make alot of sense .. and haf the times i dont think i realy deserve to be happy"

A: The problem isn't that you think you don't deserve to be happy. The problem lays elsewhere. It's a totally different issue and trust me you're not alone in this. Many people wish to just be happy, joyful cheerful, feel fantastic and never let something bother them, but they forget that it doesn't work that way. You gotta understand that life is just a circle. You can't have the good, without the bad and it's pretty unfair for you to want that. To just be happy and never worry about anything else. This feeling WILL pass. Just give it time, today you're sad, tomorrow you'll be happy and vice versa. You can't have just the good things. Laugh, cry, have fun, get hurt, live your life and never regret anything and most importantly, LEARN from your mistakes and never be afraid to make them. 

Q: "What bothers me is why do ppl pretend to be something there not"

A: These people are often suffering so much in their life that they have no confidence whatsoever in who they are as a person. Thus they tend to create alternative personalites in their minds to fit themselves into what people expect/want them to be. Often they continue acting in their alternative personalities for so long it becomes unbearable for them and so they choose to end the friendship/relationship rather than their 'alias'. So to answer this question, low self-steem, and they aren't really confident about themselves and they think that people would neglect/hate them if they showed who they really are.

Q: "i wanna know how cruel a person can be and is it really a real thing that some people dont have any feeling like sorry for someone or something?"

A: People can be very cruel, and yes, some people after so long of doing it, can learn to turn off their feelings toward something or a situation, the root of this problem however is interesting, as most of them have been subject to the SAME hell they cause to others. Say if someone doesn't really feel sorry if they wronged someone, that means that this person has been wronged so many times it destroyed them and caused them to 'feel' nothing when they do it themselves. My advice would be to avoid mixing with that crowd (eventually, and slowly, they do start feeling everything, one tiny bit at a time).


In the end, I would like to thank everyone who has been supporting us, thanks for the emails, and keep the questions coming.

Until next time,
All the best.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Family Bond

"Family comes first"

What was the first thought that came to your mind when you read that quote? Before you read on, I want you to write that thought on a piece of paper (or just hold on to that thought).

Nowadays, it seems that people have interperated this quote very differently. It seriously saddens me that it's becoming more "family comes last" day after day. I see brothers and sisters fighting every day for the silliest reasons, parents arguing with their children, even punishing them just because they are too damn proud to admit that they were wrong. Is this really what is becoming of what 'was' a sacred bond?

No bond is more sacred than that of a family, there is a reason why we don't choose who our family are, you can choose to neglect them, ignore them but NEVER deny the fact that they are your family. The reason we don't get to choose our family is that we are not supposed to like them, you WILL have arguments together and some serious issues, but we're supposed to love them nonetheless, no matter what they do that's NOT supposed to change. 

My message to the eldest brothers or sisters in the family is please, don't be the last person on your sibling's mind when they need help, don't let them think you are the LAST person that will EVER -willingly- help. I really don't understand the big deal with swallowing your pride and doing something nice for your younger brother or sister. Believe me it makes ALL the difference in the WORLD for them to know you support them, or that you're proud of them. If you think your brother or sister is an idiot/lame or whatever label you'd like to call them, THINK AGAIN, there's a reason you think that, and that is because you do NOT know them. Not the real them, you're only focusing on their "family side"...

Why is it fair that you do not help them have a better start than you did? A better life? Why do you think they should suffer as much as you did alone? Wouldn't it have helped if you had someone to help you during YOUR hard times?  Does the idea of your sibling to SUFFER as much as you did really makes you happy? If you are then you seriously have some issues you need to work out.

In the end, I urge you not to judge with the "family" mask, try to understand their position, put yourself in their shoes see how it FEELS to be them, because only then will you be a 'true' sibling.  Now I want you to take a look at the paper with what you wrote, and take a look at it again, then read the first quote again (or just compare what what was in your head, with what thought the second time you saw the quote).

Disagree? Have a question or a suggestion? 
Feel free to send us an email 
All the best,

Monday, September 26, 2011

Nothing is Written in Stone

NOTHING is written in stone.

STOP hiding behind this sad excuse, and take control! It bothers me when I see people 'playing' the victim all the time, yes, I get it, your life sucks. News flash: life sucks anyways. Stop pretending that someone else is in control of your life, YOU decide what happens, never mistake that for fate, destiny or whatever. Think of fate as a general idea, but, the general idea CAN be changed, and even if you don't change it, its up to you to fill in the gaps, the details, these things are up to you!

People always tend to exaggerate everything, and the "no one suffered as much as I did" seriously pisses me off. Look, you might have seen some very disturbing things, but here is what nobody tells you: everyone goes through the same cycle. Life is just a vicious circle that only repeats itself again and again, see the fun fact is, no one can live your life except yourself. So putting others in your shoes and see them getting confused about what to do is never gonna do you any good. To each is given the shoes that fit them, you just have to wear them and keep going.

The one thing that I tend to find in common with people who think "everything is written in stone" is a genuine feel of unworthiness; deep down they don't believe themselves worthy or even ready to feel happy. As if they are enjoying the 'victim/martyr' act they put up all the time. Now don't get me wrong, some of these people really have seen the worst in life. But that is not an excuse to close your eyes on all the good in this world.

It is however predictable that when someone lives and grows in an environment that requires them to always trust themselves (and often these people have been let down by almost everyone -if not all- of the people they know) that they decide the good is not worth the bad, so as a punishment for believing that, they tend to behave as a 'victim' for just knowing this 'fact'. Guess what, facts can be wrong, and you ARE wrong. Always remember that you take for granted, the smallest things, that cost people their lives to give you. Small amount of people even grasp the idea that they are free and are blessed to have this gift of freedom. If you have just THIS freedom, consider yourself very lucky.

In the end, I will only leave you with the advice: start living. Two simple, yet powerful words. Start living, do not regret anything, make mistakes because that is the only way you will learn. Think of it this way, every mistake you make, is a mistake you will never make again. With that said, someone who has never made a mistake never really tried anything new.

Disagree? Have a question or a suggestion? 
Feel free to send us an email 
All the best,